WASHINGTON, D.C. – When Jay Shetty was preparing to officiate the wedding of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck last year, his wife suddenly stopped his rehearsal. 'That's terrible. … You've got to change that,' Radhi Devlukia-Shetty told the former monk, now a famed multi-hyphenate self-help guru beloved by many in Hollywood, including Bennifer, Khloé Kardashian and Oprah Winfrey.
Some might see their partner's blunt distaste for their work as a personal attack. Shetty saw it as an act of love. 'She just wants me to be good. ... That's all she wants,' Shetty explained on a recent episode of the 'Berning in Hell' podcast – if you feel like you've been hearing his name a lot, he's been making the interview rounds in promotion of his new book, '8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go,' and subsequent 'Love Rules' world tour.
Shetty's journey from a monk in India to a celebrity favorite is a story of transformation and purpose. Born in London to Indian immigrant parents, he grew up with traditional values but also a modern outlook. He studied at the University of London and later attended a thought leaders event where he first learned about what it means to be a monk. He attended reluctantly but walked away feeling he had discovered his path in life. After graduation, Shetty lived as a monk in India, meditating for hours a day, sleeping on the floor and serving his community. This period of his life, which lasted a few years, shaped his understanding of discipline, mindfulness, and service.
When he left the monastery, Shetty set out to bring the lessons he learned to others. His first book, 'Think Like a Monk,' offered practical tips on how to apply ancient wisdom to the everyday modern world. It became a bestseller and launched his career as a speaker and influencer. He now offers workshops, courses, live speaking events and hosts a podcast, 'On Purpose,' that has welcomed some of Hollywood's biggest names including Kendall Jenner, Drew Barrymore, Kevin Hart and Selena Gomez. His ability to blend ancient wisdom with modern psychology has resonated with millions, making him one of the most sought-after life coaches in the entertainment industry.
Many A-listers swear by his advice, as evidenced by the celeb crowd he mingles with. But his appeal goes beyond fame. Shetty's teachings focus on love, purpose, and self-worth, themes that transcend celebrity culture. His new book, '8 Rules of Love,' is a comprehensive guide to navigating romantic relationships, but also to understanding love in its broader sense – love for oneself, for one's partner, and for the world.
Who is Jay Shetty?
Shetty, 35, first learned about what it means to be a monk at a thought leaders event in college. He attended reluctantly but walked away feeling he had discovered his path in life. After graduation, Shetty lived as a monk in India, meditating for hours a day, sleeping on the floor and serving his community. This experience taught him the value of stillness, patience, and compassion – qualities he now imparts to his clients and audience.
When he left there a few years later, Shetty set out to bring the lessons he learned to others. His first book, 'Think Like a Monk,' offers practical tips on how to apply ancient wisdom to the everyday modern world. He offers workshops, courses, live speaking events and hosts a podcast, 'On Purpose,' that has welcomed some of Hollywood's biggest names including Kendall Jenner, Drew Barrymore, Kevin Hart and Selena Gomez. His unique perspective has made him a trusted figure in the self-help space, and his ability to connect with people from all walks of life is one of his greatest strengths.
Jay Shetty's 8 rules of love
The fourth stop on Shetty's more than 30-show world tour brought him to Washington, D.C., where a crowd of nearly 2,000 gathered at the Warner Theatre on Monday for a discussion on what love means, how to cultivate it and how to heal from heartbreak. The event was interactive, with Shetty taking questions from the audience and offering personalized advice. His book covers his eight rules of love – here's a closer look at each one:
Rule 1: Let yourself be alone
'We've been made to believe that if we're not with someone that we're inadequate or unworthy in some way,' Shetty told the audience. 'But being alone can actually be an incredible time to discover your personality, discover your values and discover your goals.' He emphasized that solitude is not loneliness but an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Many people rush into relationships out of fear of being alone, but Shetty argues that this often leads to codependency and unhappiness.
Rule 2: Don't ignore your karma
'Karma is a mirror, showing us where our choices have led us,' Shetty writes in the book. 'Instead of unconsciously allowing the past to guide us, I want us to learn from our past to make decisions. … When we learn from the past, we heal it.' This rule encourages readers to take responsibility for their actions and patterns, rather than blaming others or fate. By understanding the consequences of past choices, individuals can break cycles of negative behavior.
Rule 3: Define love before you think it, feel it or say it
'We all have so many different definitions of the word love,' he said. 'It means so many different things to so many different people. Someone could say 'I love you' and it means 'I want to spend my life with you.' And someone else could say 'I love you' and it means 'I want to spend one night with you,' and everything in between those two definitions.' Shetty advises couples to have honest conversations about what love means to them before making commitments. Misaligned definitions can lead to heartbreak and confusion.
Rule 4: Your partner is your guru
'Your partner should be someone you want to learn with and learn from and learn through, and vice versa,' Shetty writes. 'If we choose a partner we can grow with, then they are always teaching us.' This rule reframes relationships as opportunities for mutual growth rather than mere companionship. A partner who challenges you to be better is a gift, not a threat.
Rule 5: Your purpose comes first
'We romanticize the idea of making sacrifices and devoting ourselves to another person, and there are beautiful ways to do so. But I've seen people who put their own purpose aside and years down the line feel lost or misled,' Shetty writes. 'Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner's purpose has to come first for them. Then you come together with the positive energy and stability that come from pursuing your purposes.' This rule emphasizes that a healthy relationship is built on two whole individuals, not two halves trying to complete each other.
Rule 6: Win or lose together
'Conflict has a bad reputation,' Shetty writes. 'We want to think we can be the couple who understands each other deeply and never fights. We're special. We're different. But no matter how compatible a couple is, to live in conflict-free bliss isn't love, it's avoidance.' He argues that disagreements are natural and can strengthen a relationship if handled with respect and empathy. Avoiding conflict only leads to resentment and distance.
Rule 7: You don't break in a breakup
'A lot of us have looked at life waiting for someone … to love us to feel we're lovable,' Shetty said. 'With empathy and compassion, I ask you to ask yourself: Why? Why are we letting our self-worth be defined by someone else? Why are we outsourcing our value?' This rule is particularly powerful for those healing from heartbreak. Shetty encourages people to see breakups as opportunities for self-discovery rather than failures.
Rule 8: Love and love again
'We spend our whole life wishing, waiting, wanting, hoping to get and receive love,' Shetty said, 'but when we take a step toward giving love, sharing love, expanding love, we get to experience it right then and there.' This final rule is a call to action: don't wait for love to come to you; instead, be a source of love for others. By practicing generosity and compassion, you create a life filled with love.
Shetty's tour continues across the United States and around the world, with stops in major cities and intimate venues alike. His message is resonating with audiences of all ages and backgrounds, proving that ancient wisdom still has a place in the modern world. For those looking to deepen their relationships or find inner peace, Shetty's rules offer a roadmap to a more fulfilling life.
Source:Yahoo News News